Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's blow job season.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have aggressive nipples.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
