Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
time to smoke my breakfast
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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