sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
