why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
