Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
