I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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