Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
