She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
