Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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