capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
