bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
