she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
