Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
