SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
