This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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