I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
