): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
