i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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