sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
two words...techno handjob
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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