Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
