This is not my ceiling
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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