I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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