I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
