Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
