she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
