I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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