you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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