At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
