explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
