Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
