So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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