I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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