mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
