so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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