I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
