how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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