Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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