bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
