I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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