There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
