Sponge bath it is.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
