Im at strip club and am horny
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
