Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
