wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
