Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
