I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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