Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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