my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
