Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
