ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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